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Saturday 10/8/2005 11:00AM
Paul and I are feeling a little under the weather, maybe coming down with colds. I'm trying to decide what to do with my precious Saturday. It's my day to relax and also to get house work done. I spent the morning studing the tarot history and meanings and starting on my own versions. I was thinking of going on a hike but think I should probably take it easy today, and take care of Paul. He's feeling worse than I am. He's still sleeping now but was feeling pretty bad last night.

I may at least go for a short walk or hike. Leda told me about a trail up behind the school that is really nice.

This week I launched a shopping cart for inSPAration.com, and did lots of other odds and ends work. The week went by pretty fast. I had a meeting down in Ventura on Wednesday which I forgot about and had to reschedule later in the day. Everything else just flew by. Just plugging away and trying to keep up with everything.

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Wednesday 10/5/2005 9:50AM
Things are looking good. Just finishing out some projects while others are coming along nicely. I have Randy working with me now, a guy my uncle Jeff recommended and he's been a great help and has been able to relieve me of some of the programming work. One of my great helpers, Mary, has taken on a new job and wont be available to help with the simple html updates as much now so I'm hoping to find someone to fill her place.

Yesterday Bettina and I escaped to go yarn shopping in Bakersfield at 4pm. I used the gift certificate from Michelle (thank you!) and bought a knitting encyclopedia that I have wanted since I first saw it and stocked up on yarn. It's been getting chilly in the evenings and sometimes Paul makes a fire. The night before last I stayed up until after midnight in front of the fire learning new techniques for making knitted cables.

Last night Bela was over keeping Paul company since "the wives" had gone missing. We decided to all have dinner at our house and bar-b-qued tri-tips. Bela brought over some potato noodles from Trader Joes and made a delicious dish with bacon and a creamy sauce with the noodles. We had wine and I forgot to cook the beans I was planning. Bettina and I read tarot cards while Paul did his own interpretation of what they meant (Apparently Bettina is to get a minor pain or bug bite in the next two days). The kids played video games in the end room.

Last weekend Leda spent two days with us while the rest of her family went up to visit Lily, in Sacramento. I took Leda shopping in Burbank on Saturday and bought some books and tarot cards. She bought a skirt and t-shirt.

Linda has been feeling much better, which is a relief. She sounds more cheerful and her ankles are finally starting to heal up.

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Tuesday 9/20/2005 4:15PM
Work, work and more work. I've been delegating more work out and still staying really busy. I would love to catch up on 90% of my work. Right now I've got so many open projects, if I don't keep up my calendar I'm likely to forget about a project.

We had a good storm last night. It rained and blew all night long. Paul saw lighting but I was too tired to look, we kept the bedroom shades up to see the gray sky and rain beating on the window panes. This morning it was cloudy and the light was dim enough to keep the shades open. Usually the sun comes in so strong you can get a sunburn while lying in bed. It was the first rain of the year I think. I hope we get more, I really love the rain.

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Monday 9/19/2005 2:27PM
I'm tired today. Been catching up with business emails and my to do list. Went out in the garden to pick some more blackberries, tomatoes and apples, they look so nice in baskets on the kitchen counter. The weather is sunny and windy. Occasionally there's a big gust of wind that makes the house creak.

Bettina and I had a nice weekend up in Cambria. We stayed at the Blue Bird. We walked around all and looked in just about every shop. We had an early dinner in one resturant, a place called Robin's and desert in another place called Lynn's. We spent Saturday evening in the motel knitting and reading. On Sunday we went to an art show/swap meet and I bought a couple of silver rings. Then we went and had a tarot card reading, which was a lot of fun. We had coffee then went walking around the rest of the shops on the other end of Cambria until we were both so sick of looking at little figurines, pillows, purses, clothes, and paitings that we had to leave. We had dinner at a taco stand in San Luis Obispo and listened to cds and the radio on the way back.

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Friday 9/09/2005 7:00PM
Man the week flew by. It's already Friday. I just got back from a walk around Pinon Pines. My first time out since I went to my exercise class on Tuesday. I've been busy working and now starting a plan for a new project with April. We're going to upgrade her list for the Katrina Families in Need site to a database driven site that can be updated by multiple people since the feedback she's had for it is very good and many people want to contribute to it and are asking for expanded areas.

I spoke to Mom today. She was with Glen at the LA Transition Center. She has to stay in that program for 18 months or 9 with good behavior. She sounds ok. She said that she can only leave the Center with an escort for the first few weeks or months. She want's to get off of her medication because she says she has problems concentrating from it and says that she feels more stable now and doesn't think she needs it.

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Wednesday 9/07/2005 8:00PM
I've been under a lot of stress lateley. It's just a variety of stuff, nothing specific. I'm doing ok though. I've been taking exercise classes down in Frazier Park, going for walks and using the great new exercise machine that my Uncle Michael & Grandpa Mike gave me. I feel like I've been fighting off a cold for the last month. I've been sooo tired. I've tried eating better, I cut sugar out of my diet for a while, stopped smoking (mostly... I'm averaging about 2 cigarettes a week), been taking vitamins. Nothing has really helped. I have been feeling a little better since yesterday.

I made a pot of chicken vegetable soup yesterday. I've been learning the Tarot deck. I had one when I was younger but never picked it up again until Margo told me that Bela wanted a deck for his Birthday. I got one from him and Bettina and I tried a couple of readings with his deck. I bought my own deck and now I'm hooked. It's a great tool for giving insight and new perspectives.

I'm learning php and loving it. It's a great programming language and I've already started using it on new jobs.

Last I heard, Mom's getting into an 18 month program for addiction and mental issues. It's located in L.A.. I wrote to her and sent her a money order today. She tried calling collect but I still can't talk to her. In my letters I can be patient and keep things pleasant. I just don't feel like I could talk to her without yelling or getting really upset. In some ways I feel like I'm not being true to myself (or her) by not expressing my feelings to her, but on the other hand I know that that would not help her at all. I need to be able to deal with this without the drama from her. I can't bear to hear her talk about things as though nothing has happened. I fear that when she gets out it will be the same thing all over again. I don't want to be negative but I don't have much hope and if she does get back on the merry-go-round I don't think I can stand to have any part in it.

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Monday 8/22/2005 9:00AM
Today is one of those days that I'm just not feeling the motivation to get started on work but I'm awake enough to write on my blog. A rare occasion lately. It's been a while so I'll start with what's been going on since I last wrote.

I've been exceptionally tired since Danielle came to visit. I think it may have to do with blood sugar, or not enough exercise, or maybe turning thirty... it's hard to tell. Could be stress although I don't really feel stressed out.

It was great having Bill and Victoria up for a few days. We went up to Monty Roberts' ranch in Solvang which was really cool. He's absolutely my hero. I would love to learn his training techniques and hope to someday have time to have a horse of my own. Right now it seems like a little bit too much responsibility as I feel like I'm barely able to take care of my day to day life right now.

Last weekend Paul and went to the big party in Cuddy valley that Arnie holds every year. It was fun but seemed to end a little earlier than last years. Lisi and a friend of hers came up around midnight and we stayed up until around 2am.

This weekend we caught up on a bit of the yard work and I went to visit Linda, Robert Mike and Michael out in Victorville on Sunday. It's probably no wonder I'm tired, it's been a busy month so far. I keep forgetting that my birthday is coming up too. I'm going to be the big 30. Bettina's birthday is on Sept. 2nd (also a Virgo) and we've been talking about taking a weekend vacation somewhere as a present to ourselves. Maybe somewhere up the coast where we can relax by the sea and read in coffee shops and do nothing important. That would be so nice. I really feel like I could use a getaway like that to re-energize my soul.

On my way out to Vicorville yesterday I was feeling a bit depressed because we had to have someone come and take out our largest cottonwood tree in the front year. It was leaning over and had a fungus. It lost a lot of branches this winter one of which fell on Paul's 350z and dented the hood. Those trees don't do very well with harsh weather. It gets windy up here a lot and sometimes it looks like it could break and fall on the house. It had been leaning over towards the driveway for the past few weeks so sadly it had to go. I stopped at the mailboxes on my way out and found a package addressed to ME from BONNIE! I couldn't wait so I had to open it. Bonnie is so sweet and thoughtful and wonderful! The gift was a knit microfiber cotton robe from Topanga Home Grown that I really wanted but didn't buy for myself because of our tight budget since all of the work on the house. It's so incredible because just the night before I decided that I should get it anyway (it's a really, really nice and cozy robe) and I worried that they wouldn't have them anymore. It really made my day that she sent me that gift and a card that said to "surround yourself with the things you love". I was smiling all the way to Victorville.

Now back to Monday, and work. Trying to get motivated on a day when nothing is urgent enough to demand my attention. I'd rather take a shower and go for a walk. But Paul has a meeting so he's got dibs on the shower. So I'll check my email and arrange my schedule of tasks for the day. I'm sure as soon as I get started the phone calls will start and I'll be back to the norm of too much work and not enough time.

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Sunday 8/7/2005 10:30AM
Danielle, one of the kids (not a kid anymore, she just turned 21) I used to babysit came up on Wednesday. We had a nice time visiting and catching up. went out to Madd Bailey's and watched The Stephford Wives later. On Thursday she helped me do some filing and organizing then left around 6pm.

Paul's Dad is visiting. We picked him up at the airport in Long Beach yesterday. Victoria is still down in Aneheim at a class reunion. Paul and Bill are going down later today to pick her up. They are staying with us until Wednesday. I'm looking forward to showing them around.

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